Black Friday Bunny-Style

Thanx in Jax

Maybe it's my aversion to shopping (or my general distaste for people), but I've always thought that Black Friday is ridiculous. I've never once stood in line at midnight or fought with another shopper over the last used-to-be-$129.99-now-it's-$49.99-toaster-food-processor-foot-massager at Walmart. In fact, I've never even attempted to go out on this traditional day of gluttony and materialism (unless you count that one time I decided to take my family out on the town the day after Thanksgiving, realizing all too late that it was Black Friday in NYC, thus permanently scarring my younger brother. To this day he hates the city.).

So this year, after spending a perfectly non-traditional Thanksgiving with family in Jacksonville, I decided we were going to do something better, something worthy, wholesome, cultural...something other than cramming into a Big Box store and running over screaming children with a cart full of merchandise.

We were going to visit the historic city of St. Augustine, home to Flagler College and a kickass fort made almost entirely of seashells (or at least that's how it was explained to me when I was five). We would wonder the streets, gaze at the impressive Spanish architecture, eat incredible food, and above all...we would not be contending with the Black Friday masses.

Little did I know, sweet Irony would be our guide through St. Augustine that fateful Friday. For even those cobblestone streets could not escape the STUPID HORDES of Black Friday shoppers. Even the ATM at Bank of America bemoaned the sad state of the city; so often had impatient patrons pushed its buttons that it just gave up and died.

After searching nearly an hour for parking that a) wasn't forever away from everything and b) didn't cost $15, we found a cozy unmarked spot that I'm pretty sure was illegal. Sue me. We made our way to the Floridian Restaurant, a cute spot boasting local fare.

The place was unsurprisingly hipster (it's a college town, after all), complete with vintage found decor and servers wearing skinnies and Toms, but I find that sort of thing charming, as everyone knows. We were greeted and seated quickly and sweetly, inbetween the kickass hoosier they use as a server station and the window, where we watched bratty kids being bratty.

Food-wise? Excellent choices, excellent turnout. We started with the Grit Cakes, which were made with polenta and topped with...I'm not sure because they disappeared pretty quick-like. Every bite was delicious, that's all I remember

Grit Cakes

Clark, who has always been a meat and potatoes sort of guy ("What the hell is quinoa?"), ordered the Minorcan-Datil BBQ Sandwich, complete with some of my favorite condiments: pimento cheese, slaw, and salsa. But the fun didn't stop there because we caved and spent the $1.50 to top it with a fried green tomato, a treat I grew up on (my mom is from Alabama, guys) and that Clark had never had. Needless to say, it was an awesome sandwich. (And I was a little jealous.)

BBQ Sandwich

However, I was busy digging into my Autumn Salad, which despite sounding completely ordinary, was fantastic. I feel a little stupid commenting on lettuce, but the greens were crisp, colorful, and beautiful. And I'm not kidding when I say I think mind-reading is the new hipster slant, because the toppings on this monster were literally everything I have been craving all season: butternut squash, pickled beets, quinoa, garbanzo beans, and creamy cheese. I ordered mine with blackened shrimp for a little protein, but the salad is perfectly substantial alone.

Autumn Salad

For dessert, we had a single Apple and Brown Sugar Cupcake, which made a perfect sweet, but not sugary, end to the meal.

Our server was decent, but not great. She was prompt, but said nothing beyond what was necessary to get by, which come off a little cold. Imma give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a bad day because Black Friday is shitty.





Rundown:
-Food is excellent, and there's something for everyone.
-The sandwiches all come with side salads, or soup with an upcharge, which is awesome. Get the Chipwich if you are looking for something potato-y and fried.
-The atmosphere is kitschy and quaint. Hipsterphobes should approach with caution.
-Parking is a nightmare; be prepared to walk or pray you don't get towed.

I thought he wouldn't notice. Damn it.

-Pricing is fair for the quality, which in my experience is tough to match. If you're a cheap bastard, you probably aren't the type of person who would enjoy the restaurant concept anyway.

So thanks to the Floridian, our hop to St. Augustine wasn't a total bust. I wish it was closer to us, but hey, I'll take any excuse for a roadtrip. So we'll be back, St. Aug, we'll be back.

On any of the 364 days that are not Black Friday.

I CAN Judge a Book By Its Cover...(or at least will.)

I think everyone grew up hearing that phrase.

"You can't judge a book by its cover!"

And while I fully understand the metaphor that school marm was trying to get across about not making assumptions about people based on their appearances (or something), the literal meaning really doesn't make sense to me.

In fact, I know that a book's cover makes a very serious impact on what I expect of a book and how I perceive the book as I'm reading it. This is the reason I'm bringing this up:

Found here.

This is the 50th Anniversary cover for To Kill a Mockingbird. This is badass.

I had to read To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in high school. The school copy I had looked like this.

And honestly? I was not enthralled. This cover says to me, "Someone thinks this is a great book, so they published thousands of cheap copies so that English teachers could assign it without kids having to go through the trouble of buying it. "

And those were my thoughts going into reading To Kill A Mockingbird, which is, in fact, considered one of the greatest books of all time. Fortunately, I thought the book was pretty good, even though every time I glimpsed the cover in my backpack or felt the cheap, glossy cover between my fingers I felt ripped off.

And let's be honest, this cover does little to reflect the depths of the book's material, though it certainly tries, doesn't it? As if the picture wasn't generic and literal enough, they had to slap on a cheesy log-line at the top. Don't know about you, but there ain't nothing about the words "the Human Dignity That Unites Us All" that makes me want to read this. That's certainly what the book is about, but that in turn is a little insulting to the book, wouldn't you say? As if the themes of To Kill a Mockingbird are so simple that they can be so concisely summarized on the front cover.

The new cover on the other hand? Intriguing. Enticing. There's a narrative going on right away, with just enough references to the actual story to get the reader's mind rolling. This cover also sets the ambiance, giving the reader some clue of the atmospheric, sometimes even creepy story they're about to open. It's the kind of cover that makes someone like me pause, pick it up, read the back cover, and flip through the pages, wondering how exactly the author is going to follow up on this one.

So can you judge a book (an actual book, y'all) by its cover? Certainly. Should you? Maybe. Do I? Definitely.

But I'm a shallow bitch, so don't listen to me.

The Magical Land of Kohl's

I notoriously hate shopping. I start feeling claustrophobic as I endlessly circle narrow aisles and squeeze between other shoppers. My chest tightens as I furiously rip my clothes on and off and my initial impressions and hopes for each piece are dashed due to poor fit and cheap manufacturing. The worst part is that I will inevitably not find whatever it is I'm looking for, no matter which shitty store I find myself in.

That was...until I met Kohl's.

Clark and I went searching for work clothes there yesterday (as my Rangetsu wardrobe is sadly lacking)...and by golly was I pleasantly surprised. It seemed like everything was on sale (which could just be a marketing ploy, but I don't really give a fuck) and judging by my receipt, not a single thing I purchased was full price. We ended up paying $165 for ten blouses, and they all average under $20. Not bad considering most of them started out double that price.

It also helped that since I had the full amount in hand, I made the small leap of signing up for a Kohl's credit card, which gave me 20% off my total purchase, which I can now pay off online and not worry about. Not 100% sure whether I'll keep the account open (since credit cards are the devil), but I like the store enough to go there first next time I need something, so it may come in handy.

They also carry a good range of quality, from no-name juniors brands with gross polyester knit linings to well known brands like Mudd and make-celebrities-feel-productive brands, such as those by JLo and Lauren Conrad. The pieces I got from the LC collection are actually really beautiful- soft shades of georgette in simple cuts, lined with super silky cotton jersey- and really inexpensive. I bought this one in both colors: Lauren Conrad Cutout Chiffon Overlay Top

In other words, I am THRILLED with my Kohl's purchases, which is something totally unheard of in this picky bitch's world. Being naturally pessimistic, I don't know if they'll come through for me every time, but as of now, they'd best be warned....I expect great things, bitches. I expect great things.