Black Friday Bunny-Style

Thanx in Jax

Maybe it's my aversion to shopping (or my general distaste for people), but I've always thought that Black Friday is ridiculous. I've never once stood in line at midnight or fought with another shopper over the last used-to-be-$129.99-now-it's-$49.99-toaster-food-processor-foot-massager at Walmart. In fact, I've never even attempted to go out on this traditional day of gluttony and materialism (unless you count that one time I decided to take my family out on the town the day after Thanksgiving, realizing all too late that it was Black Friday in NYC, thus permanently scarring my younger brother. To this day he hates the city.).

So this year, after spending a perfectly non-traditional Thanksgiving with family in Jacksonville, I decided we were going to do something better, something worthy, wholesome, cultural...something other than cramming into a Big Box store and running over screaming children with a cart full of merchandise.

We were going to visit the historic city of St. Augustine, home to Flagler College and a kickass fort made almost entirely of seashells (or at least that's how it was explained to me when I was five). We would wonder the streets, gaze at the impressive Spanish architecture, eat incredible food, and above all...we would not be contending with the Black Friday masses.

Little did I know, sweet Irony would be our guide through St. Augustine that fateful Friday. For even those cobblestone streets could not escape the STUPID HORDES of Black Friday shoppers. Even the ATM at Bank of America bemoaned the sad state of the city; so often had impatient patrons pushed its buttons that it just gave up and died.

After searching nearly an hour for parking that a) wasn't forever away from everything and b) didn't cost $15, we found a cozy unmarked spot that I'm pretty sure was illegal. Sue me. We made our way to the Floridian Restaurant, a cute spot boasting local fare.

The place was unsurprisingly hipster (it's a college town, after all), complete with vintage found decor and servers wearing skinnies and Toms, but I find that sort of thing charming, as everyone knows. We were greeted and seated quickly and sweetly, inbetween the kickass hoosier they use as a server station and the window, where we watched bratty kids being bratty.

Food-wise? Excellent choices, excellent turnout. We started with the Grit Cakes, which were made with polenta and topped with...I'm not sure because they disappeared pretty quick-like. Every bite was delicious, that's all I remember

Grit Cakes

Clark, who has always been a meat and potatoes sort of guy ("What the hell is quinoa?"), ordered the Minorcan-Datil BBQ Sandwich, complete with some of my favorite condiments: pimento cheese, slaw, and salsa. But the fun didn't stop there because we caved and spent the $1.50 to top it with a fried green tomato, a treat I grew up on (my mom is from Alabama, guys) and that Clark had never had. Needless to say, it was an awesome sandwich. (And I was a little jealous.)

BBQ Sandwich

However, I was busy digging into my Autumn Salad, which despite sounding completely ordinary, was fantastic. I feel a little stupid commenting on lettuce, but the greens were crisp, colorful, and beautiful. And I'm not kidding when I say I think mind-reading is the new hipster slant, because the toppings on this monster were literally everything I have been craving all season: butternut squash, pickled beets, quinoa, garbanzo beans, and creamy cheese. I ordered mine with blackened shrimp for a little protein, but the salad is perfectly substantial alone.

Autumn Salad

For dessert, we had a single Apple and Brown Sugar Cupcake, which made a perfect sweet, but not sugary, end to the meal.

Our server was decent, but not great. She was prompt, but said nothing beyond what was necessary to get by, which come off a little cold. Imma give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a bad day because Black Friday is shitty.





Rundown:
-Food is excellent, and there's something for everyone.
-The sandwiches all come with side salads, or soup with an upcharge, which is awesome. Get the Chipwich if you are looking for something potato-y and fried.
-The atmosphere is kitschy and quaint. Hipsterphobes should approach with caution.
-Parking is a nightmare; be prepared to walk or pray you don't get towed.

I thought he wouldn't notice. Damn it.

-Pricing is fair for the quality, which in my experience is tough to match. If you're a cheap bastard, you probably aren't the type of person who would enjoy the restaurant concept anyway.

So thanks to the Floridian, our hop to St. Augustine wasn't a total bust. I wish it was closer to us, but hey, I'll take any excuse for a roadtrip. So we'll be back, St. Aug, we'll be back.

On any of the 364 days that are not Black Friday.