One Week, One Project: Pretty Kitchen Curtain

And another one down, and another one down...Please imagine me dancing around with a wireless keyboard to the tune of "Another One Bites the Dust" to really get a good idea of how thrilled I am that I'm getting things done around here!

For my third (squee!) installment of One Week, One Project, I chose to make a pretty kitchen curtain for myself. I know it sounds totally trivial, but I spend a lot of time cooking, and my kitchen, in addition to being hilariously small, is also fucking hideous. It's the original kitchen from when the apartments were built 35+ years ago, and it's never been updated. So, I'm not talking about an old but cute and quirky 70s ugly, I'm talking about cheap, generic, oak cabinets and the counters-may-well-be-the-same-laminate-as-the-floor-in-disguise ugly. (But while we're on the subject, "Counter Culture" would be an awesome name for a custom kitchen counter company run by good-looking hipsters. Thoughts?)

When we moved in, I committed to a citrusy color scheme of yellow, green, orange and blue. (My favorite rubber spatula, given to us by Clark's brother and sister-in-law, is red. Figures.) I've been casually searching for fabric for months, preferably something cotton, containing most if not all of the colors, with a retro vibe. Nothing fit the bill. If it wasn't too modern, it was too expensive. If it wasn't too ugly, it was the wrong color scheme.

Finally, I found pretty much the perfect choice at Joann on sale. (The best part? Clark actually liked it.) I think we spent about $3/yrd all said and done. I bought a tension rod at Target ($3 and change), but if I had been paying attention when I measured the window, I would have noticed the brackets for a regular single rod (which is about $1 and change) were already screwed into the wall. Whatever, at least I actually measured the window.

The sewing was easy. I even did math (!) and ironed the seam and hems (!!). I attached a strip of another fabric my mom and I made our spice rack with, which happened to coordinate perfectly. There was a minor hiccup. My math didn't quite work out (surprise, surprise), and it was a bit too short, so I ripped out the top seam and made the channel a little narrower, but even with this, I think the whole project took an hour. I'm pretty pleased with the result, and even if it doesn't solve the hideous kitchen problem, it certainly draw attention away from it (seeing as it's loud as hell). Sorry abut the cloudy pictures. Not sure why that happened. I'd take new ones, but in the interest of meeting my deadline, I'll just post these.

Grade:

Function: A- (It still doesn't cover up the top of the blinds, but maybe I'll make a valance?)
Cost: A+ (Less than $10 with material to spare)
Appearance: A
Difficulty: A- (Math is pain!)
Fun: A+ (Lovelovelove working with bright prints!)

Overall: A

Next week I think I'll try refinishing/painting our coffee table. Or maybe making a skirt for me. I'm kind of on a sewing kick now. (Have I mentioned that Betty Draper and I have the same sewing machine? Goddamn it, Betts!)

How are your projects going? If you need inspiration, I'm only a click away! (Similar to a tech chat room or a cam girl, really. Maybe I should stop saying that.)

One Week, One Project: Button Fridge Magnets

My refrigerator has long been a sad mess of "important" papers, outdated calendars, and Disney coloring pages. (And to answer your question: yes, I did the coloring. Shut up.) There was a serious shortage of fridge magnets from the moment we moved into the apartment, a problem I was determined to fix.

After getting off to an awesome start with my One Week, One Project initiative, I decided to tackle this doozy next. I was inspired by a picture on Pinterest (as we impressionable crafters so often are) to make my own button magnets when I realized just how ridiculous I felt going to the store and buying friggin' refrigerator magnets. I mean. Come on.

My mom bought a big strip/roll of magnet when she was last in the states, so that part was easy. I unfortunately didn't have any proper buttons in the stash, so those had to be purchased. I tried to be clever and get a bag of buttons that generally matched my kitchen color scheme, rather than buying individual cards of buttons (which gets ridiculously expensive, in my opinion). However, I'm not sure how great of a deal this was, since I only used about 1/8 of the buttons in said bag, but hey, II only ended up spending $5 on the whole project, so I'm not complaining.

The magnet was self stick, so all I had to do was cut, trim, and stick. Easy as pie. The whole project took maybe 20 minutes and I think they came out pretty cute. Maybe even as cute as a button. Or. Buttons. Or something.

Grade:

Function: A- (some of the smaller buttons don't like a double layer of paper...a problem easily solved with more buttons!)
Cost: A
Appearance: A
Difficulty: A+
Fun: A

Overall: A


I think my next project will be a new Kitchen Curtain. I've been staring at the fabric I bought for it all week and I am dying to sew the bitch up.









What projects are you itching to start this year?

One Week, One Project: Car Trash System

I finished my very first project for my One Week, One Project, One Blog initiative and guess what? It feels freaking awesome!

I chose something I have been designing in my head for a loooong time: a simple, inexpensive, washable, decent-looking device to corral and control the ever flowing collection of garbage in my car. For months, I've been stretching plastic bags around the contours of my glove compartment to catch trash, but this solution comes with numerous issues: the bags rip under the stress, Clark's knees have to compete with the hanging garbage when he rides shotgun, and it generally looks like shit.

My basic concept was to make a spandex bag that would hug the glove compartment and contain trash in a  plastic liner, expanding only as needed. I sketched out a design a few months ago while sitting in the carpool lane, but (of course) it never came to fruition. A perfect first project for the new year!

I took some real measurements, reworked the design slightly, cut and sewed the bag, et voila, I now I have a new trash system in my car! This is probably the most functional and least attractive thing I have ever made, if that tells you anything about me. 

I used grey/silver studded spandex with a velvet pile that was already in my stash, just as a test. I thought the right side was hideously tacky, so I used the wrong side out. The result actually ended up blending pretty well into the interior of my car, and I'm not even opposed to the little hint of velvet peeking out at the top. 

I sandwiched some elastic from the stash in a V shape into the sides and bottom seam. I don't own a serger, and the spandex is four way stretch, so I "basted" the edges with a wide zigzag (not stretching), and then stitched just inside this with a straight stitch (while stretching). In my experience, this works great, and is any awesome alternative to buying a $4000 serger.. (Although knowing me, I would probably make multiple spandex Halloween costumes each year to get my money's worth.) Here is a video demonstrating the technique I described: 

After that, I just finished the top edge and tested her out!

If I had to grade this project:

Function: A (As of now...we'll see as time goes on if there are any problems)

Cost: A+ (Already had all materials)

Appearance: B+

Difficulty: B+ (the velvet was fiddly, but overall it was simple)

Fun: B (This one isn't terribly exciting to make, but the payoff was great!)

Overall: A- or something. Love it!

(If anyone would like more specific instructions on how to make your own trash system, leave me a comment!)

What is your first project of the year going to be? Something pretty or something functional?

One Week, One Project, One Blog: Beat the Crafting Slump!

I'm constantly amazed with the things blogger moms accomplish. Their blogs are filled with perfectly planned menus each week, knitted garments for their toddlers, homemade party dresses for their older ones, kickass custom Christmas gifts, fun vacation photos, tutorials, recipes...the list goes on.

It makes my own blog look a little pathetic. Over the past year, I've spiraled into the lamest crafting slump I could have imagined. There's no reason as a capable 20-something who works a part-time job, with a crafty disposition and no kids running around (not counting my 13-year-old stepdaughter) that I shouldn't be able to be on the blogger mom plane of productivity.

So, I've decided that for the new year, I'm instituting a new rule: one week, one project, one blog.

I don't want to bite off more than I can chew, so I made it simple. Every week, I'll be posting at least two pictures of the chosen weekly project with a write up. The project can be anything, whether it's a home improvement task like making curtains, or something just for me, such as sewing a trendy garment at home if I can't find the right ones in the store at a good price (high-waisted shorts, anyone?).

I've made a preliminary list of projects to get me started, and I'll be adding to it as I think of new things so that I never have an excuse to skip a week. (I'm sure Pinterest will help.) These are things I've wanted to make/do/get done for a while, so I'm ready to go! Here is the list so far:

-Car Trash System
-Car recycling system
-Button Fridge Magnets
-A pretty filing cabinet
-Kitchen curtain
-Bedroom curtains
-NEW living room curtains
-Refinish coffee table
-Knit legwarmers
-Make high-waisted shorts
-Make casual ankle length pants
-Can pickles
-Can preserves

Of course, there will always be projects with a bigger scope, like Halloween costumes and Christmas gifts, so I've tried to keep the list fairly low key, so that I can mark it off along side the bigger projects.

I'm giving myself 3 passes, just in case. (But there's no punishment other than my own bitter disappointment. I'm working hard not to let this be a negative exercise!)

And with any luck, this new initiation will get me out of my crafting slump! Stay tuned for manymanymany updates!

Have you hit a brick wall when it comes to getting shit done, despite your numerous abilities? Are you writhing in jealousy every time a mom posts a picture of the new macrame baby sling she just completed or when you realize her Pinterest boards are more purposeful than yours could ever hope to be? Get up off your ass and join me!

Black Friday Bunny-Style

Thanx in Jax

Maybe it's my aversion to shopping (or my general distaste for people), but I've always thought that Black Friday is ridiculous. I've never once stood in line at midnight or fought with another shopper over the last used-to-be-$129.99-now-it's-$49.99-toaster-food-processor-foot-massager at Walmart. In fact, I've never even attempted to go out on this traditional day of gluttony and materialism (unless you count that one time I decided to take my family out on the town the day after Thanksgiving, realizing all too late that it was Black Friday in NYC, thus permanently scarring my younger brother. To this day he hates the city.).

So this year, after spending a perfectly non-traditional Thanksgiving with family in Jacksonville, I decided we were going to do something better, something worthy, wholesome, cultural...something other than cramming into a Big Box store and running over screaming children with a cart full of merchandise.

We were going to visit the historic city of St. Augustine, home to Flagler College and a kickass fort made almost entirely of seashells (or at least that's how it was explained to me when I was five). We would wonder the streets, gaze at the impressive Spanish architecture, eat incredible food, and above all...we would not be contending with the Black Friday masses.

Little did I know, sweet Irony would be our guide through St. Augustine that fateful Friday. For even those cobblestone streets could not escape the STUPID HORDES of Black Friday shoppers. Even the ATM at Bank of America bemoaned the sad state of the city; so often had impatient patrons pushed its buttons that it just gave up and died.

After searching nearly an hour for parking that a) wasn't forever away from everything and b) didn't cost $15, we found a cozy unmarked spot that I'm pretty sure was illegal. Sue me. We made our way to the Floridian Restaurant, a cute spot boasting local fare.

The place was unsurprisingly hipster (it's a college town, after all), complete with vintage found decor and servers wearing skinnies and Toms, but I find that sort of thing charming, as everyone knows. We were greeted and seated quickly and sweetly, inbetween the kickass hoosier they use as a server station and the window, where we watched bratty kids being bratty.

Food-wise? Excellent choices, excellent turnout. We started with the Grit Cakes, which were made with polenta and topped with...I'm not sure because they disappeared pretty quick-like. Every bite was delicious, that's all I remember

Grit Cakes

Clark, who has always been a meat and potatoes sort of guy ("What the hell is quinoa?"), ordered the Minorcan-Datil BBQ Sandwich, complete with some of my favorite condiments: pimento cheese, slaw, and salsa. But the fun didn't stop there because we caved and spent the $1.50 to top it with a fried green tomato, a treat I grew up on (my mom is from Alabama, guys) and that Clark had never had. Needless to say, it was an awesome sandwich. (And I was a little jealous.)

BBQ Sandwich

However, I was busy digging into my Autumn Salad, which despite sounding completely ordinary, was fantastic. I feel a little stupid commenting on lettuce, but the greens were crisp, colorful, and beautiful. And I'm not kidding when I say I think mind-reading is the new hipster slant, because the toppings on this monster were literally everything I have been craving all season: butternut squash, pickled beets, quinoa, garbanzo beans, and creamy cheese. I ordered mine with blackened shrimp for a little protein, but the salad is perfectly substantial alone.

Autumn Salad

For dessert, we had a single Apple and Brown Sugar Cupcake, which made a perfect sweet, but not sugary, end to the meal.

Our server was decent, but not great. She was prompt, but said nothing beyond what was necessary to get by, which come off a little cold. Imma give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a bad day because Black Friday is shitty.





Rundown:
-Food is excellent, and there's something for everyone.
-The sandwiches all come with side salads, or soup with an upcharge, which is awesome. Get the Chipwich if you are looking for something potato-y and fried.
-The atmosphere is kitschy and quaint. Hipsterphobes should approach with caution.
-Parking is a nightmare; be prepared to walk or pray you don't get towed.

I thought he wouldn't notice. Damn it.

-Pricing is fair for the quality, which in my experience is tough to match. If you're a cheap bastard, you probably aren't the type of person who would enjoy the restaurant concept anyway.

So thanks to the Floridian, our hop to St. Augustine wasn't a total bust. I wish it was closer to us, but hey, I'll take any excuse for a roadtrip. So we'll be back, St. Aug, we'll be back.

On any of the 364 days that are not Black Friday.

I CAN Judge a Book By Its Cover...(or at least will.)

I think everyone grew up hearing that phrase.

"You can't judge a book by its cover!"

And while I fully understand the metaphor that school marm was trying to get across about not making assumptions about people based on their appearances (or something), the literal meaning really doesn't make sense to me.

In fact, I know that a book's cover makes a very serious impact on what I expect of a book and how I perceive the book as I'm reading it. This is the reason I'm bringing this up:

Found here.

This is the 50th Anniversary cover for To Kill a Mockingbird. This is badass.

I had to read To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in high school. The school copy I had looked like this.

And honestly? I was not enthralled. This cover says to me, "Someone thinks this is a great book, so they published thousands of cheap copies so that English teachers could assign it without kids having to go through the trouble of buying it. "

And those were my thoughts going into reading To Kill A Mockingbird, which is, in fact, considered one of the greatest books of all time. Fortunately, I thought the book was pretty good, even though every time I glimpsed the cover in my backpack or felt the cheap, glossy cover between my fingers I felt ripped off.

And let's be honest, this cover does little to reflect the depths of the book's material, though it certainly tries, doesn't it? As if the picture wasn't generic and literal enough, they had to slap on a cheesy log-line at the top. Don't know about you, but there ain't nothing about the words "the Human Dignity That Unites Us All" that makes me want to read this. That's certainly what the book is about, but that in turn is a little insulting to the book, wouldn't you say? As if the themes of To Kill a Mockingbird are so simple that they can be so concisely summarized on the front cover.

The new cover on the other hand? Intriguing. Enticing. There's a narrative going on right away, with just enough references to the actual story to get the reader's mind rolling. This cover also sets the ambiance, giving the reader some clue of the atmospheric, sometimes even creepy story they're about to open. It's the kind of cover that makes someone like me pause, pick it up, read the back cover, and flip through the pages, wondering how exactly the author is going to follow up on this one.

So can you judge a book (an actual book, y'all) by its cover? Certainly. Should you? Maybe. Do I? Definitely.

But I'm a shallow bitch, so don't listen to me.

The Magical Land of Kohl's

I notoriously hate shopping. I start feeling claustrophobic as I endlessly circle narrow aisles and squeeze between other shoppers. My chest tightens as I furiously rip my clothes on and off and my initial impressions and hopes for each piece are dashed due to poor fit and cheap manufacturing. The worst part is that I will inevitably not find whatever it is I'm looking for, no matter which shitty store I find myself in.

That was...until I met Kohl's.

Clark and I went searching for work clothes there yesterday (as my Rangetsu wardrobe is sadly lacking)...and by golly was I pleasantly surprised. It seemed like everything was on sale (which could just be a marketing ploy, but I don't really give a fuck) and judging by my receipt, not a single thing I purchased was full price. We ended up paying $165 for ten blouses, and they all average under $20. Not bad considering most of them started out double that price.

It also helped that since I had the full amount in hand, I made the small leap of signing up for a Kohl's credit card, which gave me 20% off my total purchase, which I can now pay off online and not worry about. Not 100% sure whether I'll keep the account open (since credit cards are the devil), but I like the store enough to go there first next time I need something, so it may come in handy.

They also carry a good range of quality, from no-name juniors brands with gross polyester knit linings to well known brands like Mudd and make-celebrities-feel-productive brands, such as those by JLo and Lauren Conrad. The pieces I got from the LC collection are actually really beautiful- soft shades of georgette in simple cuts, lined with super silky cotton jersey- and really inexpensive. I bought this one in both colors: Lauren Conrad Cutout Chiffon Overlay Top

In other words, I am THRILLED with my Kohl's purchases, which is something totally unheard of in this picky bitch's world. Being naturally pessimistic, I don't know if they'll come through for me every time, but as of now, they'd best be warned....I expect great things, bitches. I expect great things.