Banging!

The other day, I decided that my hair needed a change. I've been sporting the Kate Middleton for too long. Sure, it's versatile, attractive, flattering, classic, blah, blah, blah, which have all become synonyms for boring in my mind. (And you'll have to excuse my horrible mirror picture skills. I didn't get a lot of practice in high school, since mirror pictures are literally the worst thing. The WORST.)

I've always been pretty sensitive about cutting my hair, mostly because my mom traumatized me at the age of 3 by giving me a bob. After years of growing it out and donating it repeatedly, I tried the short hair route in high school, and realized that I would be reasonably successful if ever I needed to temporarily hide my identity by say, disguising myself as a man.

But I've been in kind of a "throw caution to the wind" mood in the past few weeks (I bought a stick shift without re-learning to drive one first. Enough said.). So, armed with shears, I decided to give myself some bangs.

Having my hair cut with just long layers is great for 1940s styles, but since I usually rock a 1960s look day to day, it wasn't practical. I chose to go for a Joan Holloway straight-ish fringe that could be worn blunt or brushed to the side. I did the twist and cut method, which you can witness in this video. (Also, the instructor has an entertaining tan. Enjoy.)

They turned out pretty great! Not bad for a home haircut, anyway. Surprisingly, they are thus far much easier to deal with than having no bangs and trying to find a place to tuck my ends in my bouffant. Obviously they require a little maintenance to look "polished", but I think the effect is well worth it. Just as I wanted, they can be worn straight and pushed to the side, and both looks are more fun/dramatic than before.The bouffant is MUCH simpler to deal with and looks more...vintage?

And behold the $7.68 Target sweater I bought yesterday!

Anyway, I'm pretty pleased with myself, having successfully learned to cut my hair and Clark's, thus saving us untold millions of dollars and public tears spent in salons. Or something.

Does anyone else cut their own hair? Or am I the only crazy who needs that instant gratification?

If you're thinking about donning some blunt bangs yourself, you should read my post on Things You Should Know Before You Get Blunt Bangs.

Rubber Gloves, Or How I Found My Inner Prissy Bitch

I have always hated how disgusting sponges make my hands feel. In fact, after a while my hands start to imitate the sponge, in all of its smelly, waterlogged glory.

But just recently, I learned the secret to functional dishwashing without subjecting my hands to the torture of gag-inducing sponge slime (yes, I hate it that much.): rubber gloves! Not exactly a new idea, but I've never taken them seriously. Only prissy bitches invest in such things, right?

Correct. For my groundbreaking inspiration came from the queen of prissy-bitches-I-love-to-hate, Betty Draper. While normally I would never model my life on Betts', this time I'm giving her serious props for vanity. I slip on my rubber gloves and washing dishes becomes less of a chore. I slip them off and my hands are soft, dry, and slime free, just the way I like it.










The household tips I'll keep, Betty. The poor parenting and passive aggressive bitchery? That's all you, girl.

One Week, One Project: Pretty Kitchen Curtain

And another one down, and another one down...Please imagine me dancing around with a wireless keyboard to the tune of "Another One Bites the Dust" to really get a good idea of how thrilled I am that I'm getting things done around here!

For my third (squee!) installment of One Week, One Project, I chose to make a pretty kitchen curtain for myself. I know it sounds totally trivial, but I spend a lot of time cooking, and my kitchen, in addition to being hilariously small, is also fucking hideous. It's the original kitchen from when the apartments were built 35+ years ago, and it's never been updated. So, I'm not talking about an old but cute and quirky 70s ugly, I'm talking about cheap, generic, oak cabinets and the counters-may-well-be-the-same-laminate-as-the-floor-in-disguise ugly. (But while we're on the subject, "Counter Culture" would be an awesome name for a custom kitchen counter company run by good-looking hipsters. Thoughts?)

When we moved in, I committed to a citrusy color scheme of yellow, green, orange and blue. (My favorite rubber spatula, given to us by Clark's brother and sister-in-law, is red. Figures.) I've been casually searching for fabric for months, preferably something cotton, containing most if not all of the colors, with a retro vibe. Nothing fit the bill. If it wasn't too modern, it was too expensive. If it wasn't too ugly, it was the wrong color scheme.

Finally, I found pretty much the perfect choice at Joann on sale. (The best part? Clark actually liked it.) I think we spent about $3/yrd all said and done. I bought a tension rod at Target ($3 and change), but if I had been paying attention when I measured the window, I would have noticed the brackets for a regular single rod (which is about $1 and change) were already screwed into the wall. Whatever, at least I actually measured the window.

The sewing was easy. I even did math (!) and ironed the seam and hems (!!). I attached a strip of another fabric my mom and I made our spice rack with, which happened to coordinate perfectly. There was a minor hiccup. My math didn't quite work out (surprise, surprise), and it was a bit too short, so I ripped out the top seam and made the channel a little narrower, but even with this, I think the whole project took an hour. I'm pretty pleased with the result, and even if it doesn't solve the hideous kitchen problem, it certainly draw attention away from it (seeing as it's loud as hell). Sorry abut the cloudy pictures. Not sure why that happened. I'd take new ones, but in the interest of meeting my deadline, I'll just post these.

Grade:

Function: A- (It still doesn't cover up the top of the blinds, but maybe I'll make a valance?)
Cost: A+ (Less than $10 with material to spare)
Appearance: A
Difficulty: A- (Math is pain!)
Fun: A+ (Lovelovelove working with bright prints!)

Overall: A

Next week I think I'll try refinishing/painting our coffee table. Or maybe making a skirt for me. I'm kind of on a sewing kick now. (Have I mentioned that Betty Draper and I have the same sewing machine? Goddamn it, Betts!)

How are your projects going? If you need inspiration, I'm only a click away! (Similar to a tech chat room or a cam girl, really. Maybe I should stop saying that.)

One Week, One Project: Button Fridge Magnets

My refrigerator has long been a sad mess of "important" papers, outdated calendars, and Disney coloring pages. (And to answer your question: yes, I did the coloring. Shut up.) There was a serious shortage of fridge magnets from the moment we moved into the apartment, a problem I was determined to fix.

After getting off to an awesome start with my One Week, One Project initiative, I decided to tackle this doozy next. I was inspired by a picture on Pinterest (as we impressionable crafters so often are) to make my own button magnets when I realized just how ridiculous I felt going to the store and buying friggin' refrigerator magnets. I mean. Come on.

My mom bought a big strip/roll of magnet when she was last in the states, so that part was easy. I unfortunately didn't have any proper buttons in the stash, so those had to be purchased. I tried to be clever and get a bag of buttons that generally matched my kitchen color scheme, rather than buying individual cards of buttons (which gets ridiculously expensive, in my opinion). However, I'm not sure how great of a deal this was, since I only used about 1/8 of the buttons in said bag, but hey, II only ended up spending $5 on the whole project, so I'm not complaining.

The magnet was self stick, so all I had to do was cut, trim, and stick. Easy as pie. The whole project took maybe 20 minutes and I think they came out pretty cute. Maybe even as cute as a button. Or. Buttons. Or something.

Grade:

Function: A- (some of the smaller buttons don't like a double layer of paper...a problem easily solved with more buttons!)
Cost: A
Appearance: A
Difficulty: A+
Fun: A

Overall: A


I think my next project will be a new Kitchen Curtain. I've been staring at the fabric I bought for it all week and I am dying to sew the bitch up.









What projects are you itching to start this year?

One Week, One Project: Car Trash System

I finished my very first project for my One Week, One Project, One Blog initiative and guess what? It feels freaking awesome!

I chose something I have been designing in my head for a loooong time: a simple, inexpensive, washable, decent-looking device to corral and control the ever flowing collection of garbage in my car. For months, I've been stretching plastic bags around the contours of my glove compartment to catch trash, but this solution comes with numerous issues: the bags rip under the stress, Clark's knees have to compete with the hanging garbage when he rides shotgun, and it generally looks like shit.

My basic concept was to make a spandex bag that would hug the glove compartment and contain trash in a  plastic liner, expanding only as needed. I sketched out a design a few months ago while sitting in the carpool lane, but (of course) it never came to fruition. A perfect first project for the new year!

I took some real measurements, reworked the design slightly, cut and sewed the bag, et voila, I now I have a new trash system in my car! This is probably the most functional and least attractive thing I have ever made, if that tells you anything about me. 

I used grey/silver studded spandex with a velvet pile that was already in my stash, just as a test. I thought the right side was hideously tacky, so I used the wrong side out. The result actually ended up blending pretty well into the interior of my car, and I'm not even opposed to the little hint of velvet peeking out at the top. 

I sandwiched some elastic from the stash in a V shape into the sides and bottom seam. I don't own a serger, and the spandex is four way stretch, so I "basted" the edges with a wide zigzag (not stretching), and then stitched just inside this with a straight stitch (while stretching). In my experience, this works great, and is any awesome alternative to buying a $4000 serger.. (Although knowing me, I would probably make multiple spandex Halloween costumes each year to get my money's worth.) Here is a video demonstrating the technique I described: 

After that, I just finished the top edge and tested her out!

If I had to grade this project:

Function: A (As of now...we'll see as time goes on if there are any problems)

Cost: A+ (Already had all materials)

Appearance: B+

Difficulty: B+ (the velvet was fiddly, but overall it was simple)

Fun: B (This one isn't terribly exciting to make, but the payoff was great!)

Overall: A- or something. Love it!

(If anyone would like more specific instructions on how to make your own trash system, leave me a comment!)

What is your first project of the year going to be? Something pretty or something functional?

One Week, One Project, One Blog: Beat the Crafting Slump!

I'm constantly amazed with the things blogger moms accomplish. Their blogs are filled with perfectly planned menus each week, knitted garments for their toddlers, homemade party dresses for their older ones, kickass custom Christmas gifts, fun vacation photos, tutorials, recipes...the list goes on.

It makes my own blog look a little pathetic. Over the past year, I've spiraled into the lamest crafting slump I could have imagined. There's no reason as a capable 20-something who works a part-time job, with a crafty disposition and no kids running around (not counting my 13-year-old stepdaughter) that I shouldn't be able to be on the blogger mom plane of productivity.

So, I've decided that for the new year, I'm instituting a new rule: one week, one project, one blog.

I don't want to bite off more than I can chew, so I made it simple. Every week, I'll be posting at least two pictures of the chosen weekly project with a write up. The project can be anything, whether it's a home improvement task like making curtains, or something just for me, such as sewing a trendy garment at home if I can't find the right ones in the store at a good price (high-waisted shorts, anyone?).

I've made a preliminary list of projects to get me started, and I'll be adding to it as I think of new things so that I never have an excuse to skip a week. (I'm sure Pinterest will help.) These are things I've wanted to make/do/get done for a while, so I'm ready to go! Here is the list so far:

-Car Trash System
-Car recycling system
-Button Fridge Magnets
-A pretty filing cabinet
-Kitchen curtain
-Bedroom curtains
-NEW living room curtains
-Refinish coffee table
-Knit legwarmers
-Make high-waisted shorts
-Make casual ankle length pants
-Can pickles
-Can preserves

Of course, there will always be projects with a bigger scope, like Halloween costumes and Christmas gifts, so I've tried to keep the list fairly low key, so that I can mark it off along side the bigger projects.

I'm giving myself 3 passes, just in case. (But there's no punishment other than my own bitter disappointment. I'm working hard not to let this be a negative exercise!)

And with any luck, this new initiation will get me out of my crafting slump! Stay tuned for manymanymany updates!

Have you hit a brick wall when it comes to getting shit done, despite your numerous abilities? Are you writhing in jealousy every time a mom posts a picture of the new macrame baby sling she just completed or when you realize her Pinterest boards are more purposeful than yours could ever hope to be? Get up off your ass and join me!